The interesting part about your personal network is about the values perceived by the people in your network in talking to you and members of the network. If people say that you are easy to approach, helpful, giving good advice or taking a different perspective, being open minded, a good listener that is what you should strive for. Positive networking is not about taking influence on others because you know someone in the right position. If your network perceives positive values by talking to you and people in your network, the network creates value for its members. If you are approached to have a conversation about business or personal topics, an investment, a technology or a difficult situation, people are looking for advice or an opinion but they implicitly expect trust, openness and confidentiality.

How do you build such a network? Networks grow over time, so it is not surprising that people who are quite some time in business can generate a larger network over time because they meet more people to trust and establish a relationship. But why do some people have large networks and some don't. First of all you need to be interested to build a network. There are people who are simply not interested to make such an investment. Networking is investment and commitment and if you are only on the receiving end of a network, people will acknowledge that this is a one way street and may drop you from the their network. Networking is not about an even balance of giving and receiving but about the willingness and ability to provide valuable time.

Every event, company you work for creates contacts which may join your network over time. Use the opportunities to talk to people and take the conversation to the person behind the role or the motivation of the person you talk to. First it is a conversation you may enjoy and second you learn a lot about the person the values and their driving force. Don't try to collect connections because you think you need to, your network will grow over time with the right people and drop the ones who do not fit to your network. Explicitly people which do not support core values such as trust and honesty should not be part of such a network. You will create disappointments for you and your network with such members.

There are as well people who measured their network on the number of social media contacts but that has nothing to do with your personal network as a leader. Your network consists of people where you have the mobile number or private eMail and you can reach out to them to have a good conversation, a lunch or a coffee. You need to stay in touch regularly with people in your network and you need to be empathic and dedicated to the conversation you have. Social Media may be good to stay in touch and being updated on changes in people life but it is not about real networking.

Obviously open minded people having good small talk skills can create a large network but they need to maintain their network, invest and create value.  Many people are not really good in maintaining a good and valuable network. You need to follow up on topics you agreed upon and reach out to your network to stay in touch. By staying in touch you learn a lot about their challenges, successes and way forward.

A great network is diverse across age, nationality, culture, gender, industry and experience. It includes all levels of people in different jobs. If you create such a diverse network you gain value out of very different perspectives on topics. Generation X,Y,Z and digital natives will take a different view than the retired board member or a marketing person or an artist. These conversations can create great value for both parties. 

You may even create events for people to come together and exchange opinions or talk about interesting topics such as leadership challenges, innovations or trends like an afterwork talk. Being the facilitator of such events makes your network grow and you are moving into a role of the trusted facilitator who makes you the first person to contact. You can even drive good initiatives to contribute to the society or charity. 

Having such a great value driven network is long term engagement and people may be part of your trusted network for many years. It creates value for yourself because you get invaluable advice of people you trust and a broad spectrum of perspectives. Being in contact with people who share these values is motivating and enjoyable. Give it a try.